Wow.  It has been almost THREE months since I last posted.  I am so sorry, but to give you an idea of what I have been up to, here is a short list of my summer activities:

• Moving into my new apartment!!
• Moving my mother.
• Driving across the country.
• Dealing with my baby cousins for nearly two weeks.
• Moving my best friend and her baby back into her parents home.
• Breaking my foot.
• Oh, and got a fancy new camera with an awesome lens!

Here are some pictures from the summer.  These are from my old camera, which coincidently was brand new.

If you don’t want to look you don’t have to.

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Things have been a whirlwind for me the last few months.  Here’s just a few things that have happened:

• My mom got married.
• In NEW YORK CITY!
• I got an apartment.
• I packed up 26 years worth of crap and am now waiting to move
• I found my soulmate current man friend
• My ex decided he’d like to try things over again
• My best friend had to put her dog to sleep last week and may very well have to put another one to sleep today.

My best friend putting her dog to sleep really hit me hard.  I felt like my dog was put down and I was so sad that I didn’t get to say goodbye.

The current man friend is so hot and cold with me that I feel like I’m stuck in the middle of a Katy Perry music video.  I know that he cares about me, but he’s so busy ALL THE TIME.  We never get to hang out and even though he says cute things to me, tells me he misses me and is most of the time there for me.  He will disappear for days without a text.  When he does this I feel like crap and get really depressed.  Then, when he pops back up it makes me happy and I tend to feel better.

Of course as soon as my ex finds out I am seeing/talking/dating to someone he gets upset and jealous.  And I start getting texts that say:

“I never meant to hurt you”

“Just give me one more chance”

“I love you always”

It is so frustrating because it would be so easy for me to go back to him and start a life with him.  The trust isn’t there yet (again?), but he has been my best friend for years and I have a hard time letting go of him.  Blah.

Oh, and I told the current man friend about him and a huge fight began but unless he is willing to give me a commitment then I am not going to stop talking to my ex.

Blah, frustrating times.

I haven’t been posting many weight updates.  So, here’s one in case you’re wondering where I’m at.

This week I lost TWO pounds!  I couldn’t believe it!

My current weight is 235.2.  So, my total loss from when I began weight watchers is -2.6.  But, my loss from when I first started back at Weight Watchers is 4 pounds.  I am pretty proud of myself but I know I can do better.

Also, like I said yesterday my birthday is coming up.  My 26th year will be a year full of changes for me whether it is moving, to my mom moving, to graduating, and finding my first “real” job.

I’m not going to lie I am excited about all of these changes.  But, the one I am most excited for is the change that is happening within me, my weight loss.  I know I can do it, I have lost weight before.  I just need support, motivation and a little help from my friends.

When I sit back and look at what I am trying to accomplish with this weight loss…a few things come to mind.

I want to be healthy, obviously and live a long and healthy life.

I want to have children, and, yeah, I guess get married too.

I want to feel beautiful.  I honestly don’t know that I have ever felt that…and I am turning 26 on Friday.  That is pretty sad.

I want to go and buy a gorgeous dress and feel just as gorgeous in it.

I guess I don’t really feel comfortable in my own skin and I don’t really know how to do that.

I know that each day I’m learning something about myself.  I know that each day that I make a healthy choice I feel better about myself.  I know that I can lose this weight.  My goal is to lose 100 pounds.  I’d like to be about 135-137, and I’d like to be there before I graduate…I know that won’t happen because that is only 8 months away.

But, if I can start to put in the effort that my body deserves…I will get there.

Eventually…